What made Khadijah great? She was declared by the Prophet to be of the greatest women of all time and given glad tidings of a house in Jannah, making her an exemplar of iman. She is often mentioned in our times as an icon of female empowerment, who knew what she wanted (to marry the Prophet Muhammad and wanted it now! Failing that, she is identified as a successful CEO, her story misappropriated to fit a capitalist, materialist worldview, where economic worth is the only one worthy of mention. In one BBC radio programme I participated in, it was implied that if more Muslim women were empowered to be more like her the Muslim world would be a much better place! It is true, the world would be a better place, but — as any Muslim who has understood Khadijah’s biography knows — not for the clichéd reasons popularly given. What made her great and what Allah and His Messenger praised her for, transcended all of that.
Recently, I was blessed with the opportunity to write the book ‘Khadijah – Mother of History’s Greatest Nation’ published by Learning Roots.[2] During the intense couple of years I spent poring over the life of our mother Khadijah and a?adith related about her I feel I got to know her
It is striking that Khadijah passed away during what was the most trying and difficult period for the Muslims. She never saw the relief of migration to Madinah, the triumph of the Battle of Badr or the Conquest of Makkah. This was because she passed away before the Hijrah, just after the Muslims emerged from three painful years of suffering the boycott imposed upon them by the Mushrikin, when they lived in tents in the narrow valley of Shi’bAbi?alib. Khadijah, who was an upper class lady of high repute, had left the comforts of her usual lifestyle to stand by the Prophet ? and live as an outcast refugee in the most difficult of circumstances.
She lived, strove, and patiently persevered as a Believer for a cause that would bear fruit after her death. She did not see Islam spread through Arabia and establish itself from as far as the Siberian Peninsula to the edges of the far-East. She never witnessed a world where a billion people are Muslims. And yet, here we are, sitting in the seat of the Western world, in London, and you, dear brother and sister, are part of Khadijah’s legacy!
With this in mind, we too must realise that we may not see the true results of what we build in our lifetimes, but build it we must. Living for a cause beyond our own lives, for a vision of this world that we may never get to see, and Allah’s pleasure in the Hereafter, are what we need to stop living petty and small-minded existences. It causes our spirits to soar as we strive towards something greater. It reminds us that intention is more important than completion or results and that by having enormous intentions and then diligently working towards them, we secure reward from Allah, even if we do not complete what we started. Furthermore, Allah will see to it that our work continues beyond our lives.
Khadijah was a woman from the nobility in a tribal society where lineage gave a person immense status. When she took the Prophet that fateful day, to her cousin Waraqah b. Nawfal, she heard for the first time that her people would turn them out of Makkah one day. It was an unbelievable notion to the Prophet and Khadijah who held celebrity-like statuses in their society. That day it would have dawned on her that standing by the Prophet’s side meant tough times ahead. It meant losing the status she once enjoyed in her society. But it would also mean being of the highest status in Allah’s eyes, because those who are pioneers in the way of Allah are not equal to those who come afterwards. By being the first Believer, being from as-Sabiqun al-Awwalun who embraced Islam when it was neither popular nor easy to do so, she secured her status with Allah.
Similarly those Muslims in the generation before us who established Islam here in the UK, who visibly and openly practised Islam, facing the racism and taunts of that era, were pioneers who built institutions and infrastructure for our communities. They will have been blessed with a higher status than those who came later and benefitted from the relative ease of being a second generation practising Muslim in the UK. I remember a time in London when I’d walk down the street with my mum; she was the only woman observing hijab that we knew and I expected every other person who walked past us to shout “Paki” or hurl some other abuse in our direction. Today, hijab is normal. It would not be were it not for those early women, like my mum, who stood firm upon their principles. We are indebted to them and no doubt their stand has gained them a high status with Allah.
Even the most beloved Believers in history faced Islamophobia. Khadijah was the best of women and yet was subject to a campaign of persecution and abuse by her society. Her house had an unsheltered courtyard in the middle of it and the wife of AbuLahab would have rocks, stones, filth and garbage thrown over Khadijah’s walls, into that courtyard. What was Khadijah doing during those moments when debris rained down over their heads? Perhaps she was preparing a meal? Perhaps sitting with her children doing the ordinary activities a mother does? How must she have felt during this terrible campaign of hate?
When Khadijah’s son passed away in infancy, the Mushrikin in Makkah mocked her family and her husband and labelled them as ‘cut off’, alluding to the fact that they had no sons to carry on their family name. How would it feel to have society around you gleefully mock the death of your beloved child?
One of the blessings of Khadijah was that she was a wealthy woman. But being a wealthy woman was not in itself her greatest trait. Her willingness to use her wealth and resources in the way of Allah was one of her greatest traits.
This is something that the Prophet would get very emotional about even after her death. He could never forget how readily she had believed in him and how selflessly she had put her resources at his disposal, to use as he saw fit for the sake of his mission. When he was questioned regarding her excellence, he affirmed her status in the highest terms and said:
“She had faith in me when people rejected me. She believed in me when the people disbelieved me. She supported me with her wealth when the people prevented me, and Allah blessed me with children through her and not through any other wife.
Khadijah was a source of pure comfort for her husband, a sanctuary that he could retreat to and find strength in. For him to do the monumental work he was charged with, he needed Khadijah by his side, strengthening, reassuring, supporting, listening and being present to his needs.
She understood his need to go on the mountain and would deliver food to him there, to allow him to stay for as long as he needed to. She took care of his household during the toughest of times, giving him the freedom to do his work.
Who did the Prophets share his innermost fears and questions with on the day when he was first spoken to by the Angel Jibril? Who did the Prophet go home to when he had filth and the entrails of a camel thrown upon him as he prayed? Who did the Prophet confide in at night when he returned from a day of tirelessly preaching his message and being mocked and ridiculed in response? By being that source of comfort, Khadijah found a special place in the heart of the Messenger of Allah and gained the love of her people, a place in history, a life that was impactful and most importantly, the pleasure of her Lord.
Every home needs a pillar of strength to steady it. It is true that both husband and wife have their part to play in showing love and support to each other. But the particular type of security that Khadijah provided was one that we as women in particular have the propensity and duty to establish, since the home is our key domain. It is to make our home a place of comfort for our spouses and children. Home should be the place of sanctuary, not the place from which our family members seek refuge!
