By Dr. Tasaduk Hussain Itoo
Anyone in the world, big or small, fat or thin, black or white, can feel somewhat inferior to everyone else at times during their lives. We tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough, pretty enough or smart enough, but these comments are in no way based on facts. Luckily, there are lots of simple steps you can take to overcome an inferiority complex.
There are two kinds of inferiority complexes: An inferiority complex that comes from childhood can be caused by neglect, overly critical parents, bullying, exposure to negative messages in the media, or not getting to experience positive social experiences. An inferiority complex developed as an adult can occur when you feel that you aren’t able to accomplish things you set out to do, or when you feel harassed by your family, partner, or co-workers. Remember both types of inferiority complex are associated with low self-esteem and making unfavourable comparisons between yourself and others.
Sometimes you may not realize that things you do result from your inferiority complex; however, the complex can affect how you think and act. For example:
??You may find yourself getting into relationships expecting the other person to fill a void in you.
??You may isolate yourself from others.
You may try to control, blame, or harm other people.
??You may be unable to accept compliments.
??You may experience feelings of anxiety, reluctance to trust others, low self-worth, and fear of rejection.
Inferiority complexes may come from something in your past. To help you move past it, you need to determine the root of your feelings. It may be a bad childhood experience, a traumatic event, or a combination of people putting you down over the years.
If you have an inferiority complex, then you feel inferior to someone else. Ask yourself who you feel inferior to. Try to be as specific as possible, or start broad and narrow it down. Do you feel inferior to attractive people? People with more money? Smarter people? Successful people? Try to go from one of those to a specific name of someone in your life.
One way to start dealing with the complex is to break it down. Start with characteristics that you feel inferior about. Look at them logically, not emotionally. Are your perceived flaws that bad? If the answer is still yes, remember that everyone has traits they would like to improve. What you see as a flaw may not seem like one to someone else. No one may notice your large chin although it’s all you ever think about. You may think your baldness is a flaw, while some people find bald men attractive.
Everyone on earth is inferior to someone in some way. There isn’t one person who has everything. Although someone may be the most beautiful and rich person, there will be someone with more intelligence or more compassion. On the flip side, everyone is superior to others in some way. Everyone is a different combination of positive attributes and flaws. Understanding this concept can help you start to view yourself more realistically.
Inferiority complexes are rooted in the desire to be just like someone else. They make you want to be someone you’re not. If you try to be someone else, you aren’t being true to yourself. This doesn’t include limiting yourself and trying new things. Just don’t try to be someone else. Be you. You can get inspired by people. That means you look up to them and take some of their traits and put them into yourself. But the important difference is you are still you. You aren’t trying to copy someone else or be someone else. You are using them as a positive guide while still being true to yourself.
Inferiority complexes arise from our constant concern about what others think about us. We oftentimes find problems with ourselves based on if others find us good enough. This isn’t healthy thinking. Stop worrying so much about what others think about you. Only your opinion matters. Sometimes these judgments are real, but many times they are imaginary. Focus on making yourself happy without worrying about what others think. And try not to make up people’s judgments.
Inferiority complexes can result in you becoming withdrawn, anti-social, and shy. People with these complexes sometimes fear exposing themselves and opening up. You need to push yourself to interact with people. These feelings of inferiority are in your mind. The more you socialize with other people, the more you’ll understand that people aren’t judging you, making fun of you, or putting you down. You can learn to be comfortable and confident around people
The people we associate with can have a significant impact on our self-esteem. If you spend your time with negative people who are constantly criticizing, analyzing, and judging others, it will start to affect you. Instead, spend your time with people who are positive. Look for people who accept and like people without judgment. Surrounding yourself with people who don’t judge you can help you accept yourself.
One way to beat the feelings of inferiority is to continuously improve yourself. This can include anything. Work on developing work-related skills, try a new hobby, work on improving a current hobby, set an exercise goal, or start saving for that dream vacation. Work on making your life better and worthwhile. This will help lessen your feelings of inferiority, because it’s hard to feel inferior when you’re accomplishing your goals.
(Feedback at: drtasadukitoo@gmail.com)
